The redemptive quality of God is astounding. Here, I have been given almost identical life circumstances; an almost identical set of choices and this time around I am choosing what is Good.
When I was 18 I moved out of my parents house, for fitting my personal motivations by choice, to be part of a worship internship in Kansas City, MO., and instead moved into a tiny studio apartment where my boyfriend proceeded to pretty much live with me. That year, the age of my youth if you will (like I’m so old now), was the year of my “bad choices.” While I will never regret that part of my life, the stories I have, the love I lived and gave and the mistakes that taught me a little more about myself, I willingly admit that I was completely out of God’s will for my life by choosing carnal pleasures instead of eternal bliss.
So here I am. I’m 21 and reflecting on what God has done in the past 3 years. After my year of deliberate carnal living, God restored me by giving me my family in full force, taking care of me while I was emotionally beaten and bruised. He redeemed that part of my life. Next, the deep desire to be part of a worship leadership school was fulfilled. By the providence of God I found The Institute of Contemporary and Emerging Worship Studies, and everything about it seemed to fit. This time I was not going to pass up the opportunity I was being given. Three years later, God was presenting me with the same options and choices I had when I was 18. It’s a bit ironic really. I have now completed the 8 month program that took place in St. Stephen, New Brunswick, Canada and instead of moving home I now live in Calais, Maine. After moving into my new home, with an amazingly loving family from the church I attend in St. Stephen, I was driving home from a friends in shock, realizing that “tonight I sleep in a room by myself.” The thought of living alone, without roommate, without boyfriend, without Mom or Dad scared the crap out of me. And then I realized, this is God’s redemption. I was given an opportunity to live alone, and I chose to live with my boyfriend instead three years ago. However now, I have the same choices, and I am choosing to embrace the independence in myself in the midst of the dependence I willingly have for God. This is God’s redemption. It’s hard, being reestablished rightly, but it is completely worth the transformation.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God— this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is— his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:1-2
I haven’t posted in a long while, hey? I suppose I’ve been so busy ranting about the church in class that I haven’t had time to let the internet world know where my head space has been as of late. I also don’t work in an office anymore, so my free time is less.
I am in the process of trying to figure out what the next year will bring me. The Institute is coming to a close and my options are just beginning to come to the surface. I am however hoping for an internship under a worship pastor to gain even more hands on, practical worship experience.
Since I’ve been here in St. Stephen, I have written around eight new songs, and another one is in the works. Two of them are accessible worship songs, some are less accessible worship songs, and the others focus on relationships and family. Once I have better MP3 recordings I plan on posting some of them on my blog so you can have a listen.
In other news… God has really been impacting me with the churches call to take care of the poor, widow and orphan. I do not know what that is to look like in my life, however, my heart continues to grow in that area and I see aiding the poor in both poverty and poor in spirit in my future. I have also become antsy to travel. I have a deep desire to go and live in other places for around a year, just to have the experience under my belt and once I am ready to make roots, move back to Minnesota to remain close to family.
I suppose that is about all I’ve got for now. Check back later, and hopefully I will update you more!
Filed under: Worship
Check out my myspace music site, i’ve got a new song up. Not the best quality (at all) but it is what it is.
Alright, alright a lot is going down. Where do I start? How much do I say? I mean, anyone on the internet can read this if they want to. Will that come back and bite me in the butt after the fact? Hm. Here’s an update on my life (since I haven’t had much else to post about).
I leave for my adventure to Canada on August 28th where the first leg of my journey will take me to Indiana. I will drive there in one day and stay with my Aunt and Uncle for a day or two. They have a lot of land and live right on the boarder of Kentucky. There is something lovely about the home they live in. It’s grazing land, but there are woods. It’s open and free, yet it is completely private. My favorite memory from their home is from a few years ago when I sat on their enormous porch, playing guitar in the heat and enjoying the beauty of that state. It’s one of my favorite places.
The next part of my trip will take about 10 hour’s max where I will arrive in Virginia and stay with my Aunt (my mom’s sister) for a day or two. She also lives on a lot of land. She raises her own chickens, has a few horses, and plants and cares for oriental grasses which she then sells to people who do landscaping. I am very excited to visit her and take a day to hang in the foot hills. I also plan on riding my mountain bike somewhere between Indiana and Virginia.
From Virginia my trip get’s a little hazy. It takes about 6 or so hours to get from my Aunts up to Baltimore, Maryland where I have more east coast family… but the drive from Baltimore to St. Stephens, NB, CA is a bit of a haul. I may try and make it up to Boston after Virginia and either squat somewhere for the night or grab a hotel. However I want to get some more mountain biking in around there. I plan on getting to St. Stephens by September 2 so I can get moved in and drive around the province to get my bearings (and do some riding). I do have to say, I am pretty excited about this move out east. It’s a once in a life time type of thing.
I have received four of my five books for my first semester of class in the mail yesterday. The director of ICEWS; Dan Wilt, recommends reading through them and taking down some questions I have about the content in them to bring me and anyone else in the program up to speed on what we will be studying. It’s exciting to feel like I am already starting to study—and it’s only summer! The first two books I am starting with are; For All God’s Worth by N.T. Wright and Emerging Churches by Ryan K. Bolger and Eddie Gibbs. Thus far I like both of them. The latter is a bit of a tougher read because there is a lot of data and meat (it’s almost like a case study over 5 years of the different post-modern-emerging churches) but it is if anything full of wonderfully educational content. The first, by N.T. Wright so far comes across as blunt, real and straight to the point. The writer is being honest about the world, the church and our part in both. I like it.
So, only 63 days until I leave on my adventure to ICEWS
Filed under: Worship
wrote and recorded a new song. Pretty rough recording, but check it out if you’d like. Once I can record with a drummer, piano and electric guitar all will be happy.
Just as Minnesota in the fall smells crisp; and winter here seems almost fresh and brisk, summer has it’s own smell. As I was driving home from a most fruitful and enjoyable night of coffee, realism and the birth of a new friendship I left the evening better than I came into it. I rolled down the windows, blasted the music and breathed in the humid air. Not so humid that it was sticky, but that smell that tells you “it just rained although you didn’t see a drop. Moisture is in the air and if you stand in this place long enough you are bound to get wet.”
Often times life is like this Minnesota summer night–we get a light sprinkling of God while His warmth wraps around us, not a down pour of rain and heat. He is a constant God and sometimes we get so caught up in feeling His down pour we miss His awesome
subtilties. However if we step back, roll down the windows and take a whiff of what’s out there we might catch a glimpse of His simply goodness.
Filed under: Worship
just got the John Mark McMillan Cd in the mail… holy goodness. So much truth in it. It’s a wonderful mix of folk-rock that makes you want to drive down a dirt road, windows down, blasting the music and weeping at the truth found in it. It is provacative and the heart behind it is something that the mainstream-western-church is in desperate need of.
favorite song so far….
Closer
Come closer, closer to me.
Find me broken, find me bleedin’
cause I need more now than a fairy tale,
a god who lives in a book.
I need someone real.
So would you come?
Would you come?
If i begged you, would you come closer to me now?
Come closer, closer to me.
Find me broken, find me on my knees,
cause I need more now than philosophy.
Some god in outer space doesn’t mean anything to me.
So would you come?
Would you come?
If I begged you, would you come closer to me now?
Would you come?
Would you come?
If i begged you, would you come closer to me now?
Son of David, do not pass me by,
cause I am naked,
I’m poor and I’m blind.
Son of david, don’t pass me by,
cause I am naked,
I’m poor and I’m blind.
http://www.reverbnation.com/johnmarkmcmillan
go there and listen to it. Oofda (that was so Minnesotain of me…)
