Went to Boston last weekend, to see David Crowder Band. Here are a few photos for you… visit my flickr account if you want to see more!
Filed under: Life
Be where your feet are. Life is now. Life does not wait for you to get back on your feet. I did not know I had fallen, however as I sit here in my warm bed, tucked away from the cold weather and world I feel a bit more broken today than I did this day last week.
Things that I had stuffed away, deep within my heart of hearts decided to come back to haunt me within the past few weeks, as they always do. I have learned to put up a wall. To tame my emotions. To smile when I’d rather frown. Or, at least I think I am a really good actor. However I was reminded yet again in my life my needs.
Needs is a scary word. It can often carry a negative connotation with it. That of a nagging girlfriend, family obligation, a mother who finds self worth in her son and hangs on that relationship. No one ever wants to be considered needy. People want to live on their on, be independent and be self sufficient.
Needs: Yearning for, longing for, wanting, desiring, hoping, wishing and praying. That is my definition of being needy. I yearn for someone who I can rest my head on and cry with no worries of what they will think, if my snot gets on their shirt, if my makeup leaves a mark. Someone to just be with. I need that. I know I need that because I cannot survive on my own accord. I’ve tried. It failed. And more than just a person to cry with, I need a person I can laugh with, be quiet and still with, sometimes be angry with; someone who can challenge me, call me out, know me, hug me.
This sounds selfish, yes. However just as the Father is in communion with the Son and the Holy Spirit, so are we to be in fellowship with one another. We are to be all in. So, lets learn to carry each other, and right now I could use someone to help my limp.
“The glory of God is a human being, fully alive.” Irenaeus of Lyons
That is a quote that one of my instructors, Dan Wilt says often here at school. I had quite a hard time with that, thinking to myself, “How is this the glory of God? We are fallen people so that doesn’t make sense to me.”
I started to look for the biblical perspective of our humanness and how God’s glory is revealed in that. Bernard of Clairvaux, a French abbot who lived from 1090 to 1153 tells us of four degrees of love. First, love of self for self sake. Second is love of God for self’s sake; thirdly there is love of God for God’s sake and lastly love of self for God’s sake.
While the first three make a lot of sense for us, the last or fourth degree of love is hard to understand. How does one love their self for the sake of God? Is that biblical? Is that selfish? Aren’t we supposed to “die to ourselves”? After discussing it in my spiritual formation group, and thinking of the quote I stated from Irenaeus of Lyons I found that we do in fact have to love ourselves for the sake of God. While yes, we are supposed to die to ourselves and allow God to breath the breath of lives in us again, he then established a sense of identity–in Him.
We were not made to be cookie cutters, cream walls, everyone exactly the same. If you look into the account in Genesis about Adam and Eve being in the garden you have to understand that they weren’t just there, hanging out, drinking water, eating fruit and sitting on their butt. No no, God made man and woman to work. He made us to be individual, to be brought into the fullness of Him, giving over the things that make us tick for his sake–but not giving up those things. God is a creator, and we are made in his image, meaning we are also creators.
Creation is beautiful. We, human beings are full of beauty. If we weren’t then God wouldn’t have sent His son to die for us. He could have whipped us out but instead He gave us a more excellent way. God comes and inhabits our humanity. The human touch can be both beautiful and deadly, and we must remember to discern God in our lives as we move in creativity otherwise we can become too liberal. However when we are living in the fullness of God his creativity in us is lived out in our lives.
God loves us in our humanity; creator to created.
Filed under: The Church
So, I went to go see the Bourne Ultimatum last night. Good flick. I am one for the action movies so this one definatly fit that catagory. And I love that they can keep a story going without it being this intense movie about love. Not every movie has to be about relationships in that sense.
Either way, while walking to entrance of the mall to go to the see the movie I ran into an aqauintance. I was with a friend of mine. We stopped to say hi and this aquauaintance came right out, after introducing themselves and said to my friend, “Are you a born again christian?” Now, while this question is valid, their asking it raised a few concerns in my own head and heart.
Are we—the church, teaching and discipling people properly? It seems a bit rude to meet someone for the first time and not really care about who they are, or what they are up to but instead ask if they are saved? Now don’t get me wrong I am all about God saving people. ALL about it. Being saved is the truth of the gospel. However I think Jesus would never have asked what my aquaintance asked my friend last night. We as christians need to not just be saying things like that without
- a) thinking of the implications it will have on non-believers; usually steering them away from christianity and
- b) we need to consult and ask God when to speak on His behalf and only ask questions that He desires us to ask and in His timing; which means we do in fact need to be in constant communion with the Father and capable of hearing His voice in our lives (and He does speak, so take a second to listen)
We, the church gets so caught up in “saving people” that we forget to love people. We forget that not out of blind efforts to save people do they find God, but when they are loved like He loves us, cared for like Jesus cared for people, confronted like Jesus confronted then people will see God for who He really is; a loving father who gave His son—who is jealous for us and who has a valid reason to judge us. For us it is not about saving people. We can’t. God can, and maybe if we are lucky and obediant He will use us as vessels to do so. But it is not our mission to save people. The great commission was about making disciples of all nations and teaching people (see Matthew 28:16-20). Teaching people. Think about this. We can’t make disciples of people who are unwilling to fallow Jesus. So it seems to me that the great commission applies more the church as a whole; not un-believers.
So let’s just face it. People who don’t know God will genereally (not always, tho) react negitivly to really blunt, upfront questions. We as believers need to learn some “bed side mannor” and quit trying to save people all the time and instead be loving people like we have never loved before (and this is found through the power of the Holy Spirit) and listening to God tell us when and what to speak—because I promise you, He does speak.
Filed under: photography
It’s kindof hard to believe that the 35W bridge just decided it was a good day to fall into the freaking mississippi river. I really cant believe it. A buddy and I are going to go check out the scene on sunday to see the wreckage and take some photos. While there are still 30 or so people missing, the death toll is only at 5 which is low in my opinion.
So, I got some cool shots last night while I was hanging out with Josiah, his brothers Joel and Jared. It was a fun night. Check out my flickr account for more photos.
I tend to like guys who I have no business in liking. The ones who I disagree with at the deep, fundamental levels of my beliefs. Yet, I find myself wanting to date guys like that. Maybe I just can’t find a guy who is quality like the guys I “shouldn’t” like.
Let me paint a picture for you.
Now, I listen to “christian music” however I hate that term. A christian is a person, not a genre. The thing about your general christian music is that the majority you find in the United States are just pop songs with words about God, Jesus, etc. They are typical over produced songs with safe chord progressions and lyrics that probably took 10 minutes to write, just like many pop songs are. These songs sound good and are pleasing to our ear, but there isn’t much meat to them. They don’t go deeper. That is my imagery for the christian males I have run across in my life; safe, pleasing but not much depth
But then there is other music. This other music is often not written by your typical christian artist. This music that takes time and effort. It has substance. It has note variation, melody and nuance. It is beautiful. The lyrics are poetic and flowing. There is time, re-writing and internal wrestling put into this music. That is my imagery for guys I like who, while they find deep meaning in life are void of serious spirituality as a constant pursuit of their lives.
This is my jaded feeling towards guys. It’s not that I don’t want to date a guy who loves Jesus. I do. But I can’t seem to find a guy who, like the “other music” above, goes deeper as well as loves the Lord. It’s like one or the other. Either shallow, christian pop—the kind that you listen to all your life because it’s what you’ve always known; or it’s deep, meaningful, liberal, music—the kind that takes time and patience and self doubt and re-writing and wrestling. The first, “christian” pop music/cookie-cut-out christian guy” is good but I want a guy who I can go deeper with. But then the “other music/liberal non-christian guy” is appealing but doesn’t hit that center of spirituality I need in my life.
Alright, enough ranting for one day. I am sure all of my christian-male friends who are reading this find this ridiculously offensive, and by no means is it meant to be that way. I just needed to get that off my chest. Not like I’m dating anyone anyway.
I’m counting down the days.
1 day until MarthaJoy is home.
15 days until I’m done working.
17 days until Nora is home.
28 days until I leave for school.
